Remus found Sirius curled up in bed with a book,
squinting, nose less than an inch from the page.
“Give me that,” he said in exasperation. “You’re going to do permanent
damage to yourself.”
“Moony,” Sirius whined, but let Remus slide the book out of his hands.
Before Azkaban, as long as Remus had known him, Sirius had read like a
fiend. At school he would stay up long past the others, reading by
wandlight. Remus remembered waking up after countless nightmares to
find comfort in the blue glow coming from behind Sirius’ hangings.
He was no different as an adult, littering their flat with so many read
and half-read novels that Remus could have built furniture out of
nothing but dog-eared paperbacks.
And now Sirius seemed determined to make up for all the reading he’d
missed. He would read anything he could get his hands on, tear through
books from beginning to end without stopping, read until he gave
himself migraines and his eye ached and his hands were cramped into
claws.
And why shouldn’t he? Remus
asked himself bitterly.
Not like
he’s got much else to do around here.
Sirius rubbed at his eyes, wincing, and Remus sighed softly. He sat
down beside Sirius and tugged on his shirt.
“Come here,” he coaxed. “I’ll read to you for awhile.”
Sirius peered at him with red-rimmed eyes and a watery smile, watching
him stretch out on the bed, before carefully snuggling against
Remus’ side, the permission to touch Remus again still so new that
Sirius had to suppress the urge to thank him for it.
Remus kissed the top of his head lightly before opening the book to the
page he’d marked with a finger and started reading in his low, soothing
voice.
It wasn’t so much the story that Sirius wanted, they both knew, but the
act of reading itself, the feel of the paper in his hands and the words
in front of him; he had trouble concentrating on what Remus was
reading, but the sounds was nice, and the warmth of Remus beside him.
It reminded him of…of…
“Fifth Year,” he said out loud.
“What?” Remus asked, slightly surprised.
“I took a hex in the eyes,” Sirius murmured, the memory clarifying in
his mind. “I was blind for days and bored out of my mind…and you came
and read to me.”
“You remember.” Warm pleasure seeped through Remus’ chest, but he held
very still, as though movement would burst Sirius’ fragile bubble of
memory.
“You read to me until Pomfrey kicked you out,” Sirius continued in the
same misty voice. “Then you borrowed James’ cloak and snuck back in and
read to me all night. You…fell asleep on my bed…and…and…”
Sirius paused, feeling like there was another piece to the memory that
was fading away from him.
“I lost my voice for a week,” Remus finished for him. “And now you’re
going to say ‘That’s the moment I knew I’d love you forever, dear
Moony!’ ”
“No,” Sirius answered Remus’ teasing smile, “now I’m going to say ‘You
deserved it, because the hex I took was meant for you in the first
place!’ ”
“You do remember!” Remus exclaimed, bending his head to kiss Sirius
firmly. Sirius reached up to catch his fingers in Remus’ hair, and left
them tangled there when Remus broke the kiss and Sirius laid his head
back down on Remus’ collarbone.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“So you don’t forget,” Remus answered quietly, pressing his cheek
against Sirius’ forehead. Memories were an ephemeral thing with Sirius;
sometimes he would recall one, only to forget it again afterwards, as
if the Dementors had burned out his ability to retain the good
memories. Remus didn’t mind so much, because watching Sirius rediscover
the stories was like reliving them sometimes, but it seemed to
frustrate Sirius, so Remus had taken to doing something unexpected each
time Sirius came up with a new memory, hoping they would stick that way.
Sirius sighed softly and let his exhausted eyes close.
“Hex in the eyes…blind…” he whispered, solidifying the memory for
himself. “Read to me…lost your voice…fell in love with you…”
“Don’t tease,” Remus snorted, ruffling Sirius’ hair. He felt the lips
against his chest curve into a rare smile.
“Can’t remember when that happened anyways,” Sirius shifted a shoulder
in a shrug. “Maybe it didn’t. Maybe I always loved you.”
“You’re daft,” Remus said affectionately, feeling like he might have
blushed if he was the sort of person who did that. “Quiet down if you
want me to keep reading.”