It wasn't hard to smile at all when the announcement came finally. Shoon had been expecting it, although it was still a shock to hear the words out loud, to see members of each group leaving behind their old formations to stand in an awkward, unpracticed knot.

Shoon couldn't do anything but smile, in fact, at the way Yabu was practically bouncing with excitement, and the way Hikaru was trying to hide how he kept wiping his sleeve across his eyes.

Or the way relief was radiating off of Inoo in waves, replacing the anxiety that had been hanging off of him since the original Hey!Say! announcement. The double hug Inoo got from Arioka and Takaki as soon as he got within reach made Shoon smile so wide his cheeks hurt.

It wasn't until later, once the bustle was over and people were heading home, that the other feelings started creeping in. Shoon was finishing up changing into his street clothes alone; Yabu and Hikaru were at a group meeting, finding out their new schedules, and Taiyo had already gone. He'd snuck out as early as he could, stopping only to touch Shoon's shoulder to say goodbye.

Shoon had understood, and he had reached up to cover Taiyo's hand with his own for a moment before Taiyo pulled away. Taiyo wanted everyone to be happy, but he still hadn't learned to get his smile to cover up the real feelings in his eyes.

Shoon understood completely. In the quiet of the deserted dressing room, the loneliness of the Jimusho seemed to sneak up on Shoon all at once, to creep under his skin and settle heavy in his chest.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Shoon thumbed through the numbers without seeing anyone he wanted to talk to, but then found himself hitting the 'call' button and putting the phone to his ear, as though he wasn't exactly in control of himself.

"Shoon-kun?" Jin-senpai answered, and then the corner of Shoon's mouth quirked despite everything, because Jin-senpai always answered the phone like a barbarian.

"Akanishi-senpai," Shoon said, then stopped, having no idea what he wanted to say.

"It's been a while since you called me that, ne? I saw the announcement on the website." The gentleness of Jin's voice made Shoon's throat close up suddenly. "Do you want to come over?"

Shoon nodded, then remembered he was on the phone and choked out a "Yes."

"I'll be expecting you then," Jin said, and just before he hung up, Shoon heard him call that Shoon was coming over, and Yamashita-senpai yell back a reply.

Shoon froze, phone still in his hand, having completely forgotten that Yamashita and Akanishi were living together now. He wasn't quite sure he wanted to see Yamashita just then, or any member of NewS.

He nearly called back to say that he'd changed his mind, but in the end Shoon just put his phone into his pocket. It'd be embarrassing, he decided, since he'd already asked if he could come over.

He called his mother on the train to tell her that he was spending the night with a friend.

"Reon's home," his mother said, voice sympathetic. "He told me the news."

"I have to go," Shoon said, saying a hurried goodbye. He had to take several deep breaths before he could be sure he wasn't going to make a scene on the train.

Jin opened the door as Shoon was lifting his hand to knock, and Shoon swallowed his surprise to give Jin a muted greeting as Jin pulled him inside and stripped off his coat.

"I was watching Team Medical Dragon," Jin explained, gesturing towards the couch, "but it's a rerun, so we can do whatever you like."

"Oh." Shoon toed his shoes off and looked around. "Where's Yamapi-senpai?"

"He went over to Ryo's." Jin winked when Shoon looked up in surprise. "I had a hunch you wouldn't really want to see him very much right now."

"I guess." Shoon shrugged as he slumped down on the couch beside Jin, as though that hadn't been verbatim what he'd been thinking earlier. He didn't say anything else, and they sat in companionable silence while Dr. Koike made an impassioned speech about the sanctity of human life.

The first commercial just happened to be the Pork Bowl ad, Hikaru and Massu bouncing around like morons, and Shoon curled his fingers tight against the couch cushions.

"You know, Shoon-kun," Jin said casually, "you're being very mature about this."

He turned to raise an eyebrow at Shoon, and something inside Shoon's chest snapped, letting loose a flood of emotion that he'd been working hard to contain.

"Because mature means so much around here!" he snapped. "I'm sure that's exactly how the 12-year-old got involved! If only I'd been working on maturity after hours every night instead of dancing and singing! Taiyo will be so relieved that I've solved the mystery!"

"Shoon-kun…" Jin started, putting a hand on Shoon's shoulder, but Shoon pushed it off.

"Because I've had a lot of practice with mature!" Shoon kept going, voice raising as he got himself more worked up. "I was mature when they changed our membership over and over without warning! I was mature when they added in Hikaru so we had to practice twice as much re-learning routines! I was mature when they dressed me up like a crazed marionette and a potted plant! Because I'm Ya-Ya-yah's big brother, aren't I? I've been there longer than anybody and I…" Shoon's voice caught suddenly. "I just…dammit…"

Shoon scrubbed at his eyes with his sleeve, trying to stop the sudden rush of hot tears, but it felt like all the mixed-up emotions that had been burning in his chest all afternoon had finally found an escape, and Shoon couldn't do anything about it.

"It's okay to be frustrated," Jin said, patting Shoon's shoulder again, and sliding closer to wrap his arm around Shoon when he wasn't shoved away again. "It's okay to be upset."

"I'm just…I'm so angry!" Shoon stared at his hands, twisting his fingers tightly together in his lap. "At Yabu and Hikaru for leaving, and at Taiyo for not being good enough! I know that's not fair, but I can't help it! That's horrible, isn't it? I'm horrible."

"Ne, did you come here for a lecture? Did you think I'd give good advice?" Jin lifted Shoon's chin to give him a one-shouldered shrug. "I thought you were smarter than that, Shoon-kun."

"Doesn't matter what I thought," Shoon mumbled, refusing to meet Jin's eyes and staring at his ridiculously pink T-shirt instead. "Clearly."

"Aw, Shoon," Jin said, the teasing gone from his voice, the gentleness back, and Shoon didn't know why that seemed to make everything worse but it did, like Taiyo's touch on his shoulder and his mother's voice on the phone.

"I don't want to talk about it!" he said rather than think about it, and then he crawled over to throw a leg over Jin's thighs and settled in his lap.

Jin wasn't against the kiss by any means, and Shoon distracted himself with the soft tickle of Jin's hair under his fingertips and the rub of Jin's lips against his own. A few minutes passed before Shoon leaned back, just far enough to draw a breath, to meet Jin's gaze from under his lashes.

"I don't want to think about it, okay?" he said, putting just a hint of innocent junior in his voice. Who needed maturity anyway?

"Okay," Jin answered, taking the bait readily, and Shoon found himself on his feet and being tugged along to Jin's bedroom by the hand faster than he could say "Hey!Say!Jump."

Shoon threw himself into the distraction as best as he could, barely releasing Jin's mouth long enough for Jin to tug their shirts off, and then he pressed close again, the bare slide of his skin against Jin's making both of them shiver.

"Hey now," Jin purred, brushing lips along Shoon's chin, up to the dip behind his ear. "What's the rush? Got somewhere to be?"

"Inside you," Shoon answered, letting the roll of Jin's hips against his make his eyes flutter, and then he planted two hands in the center of Jin's chest and shoved him down onto the bed.

"That's a good answer," Jin laughed, tugging Shoon down along with him and removing the rest of their clothing in a flurry of efficiency and one ruined zipper. "Damn, I really liked those."

"They were Yamapi's anyway," Shoon rolled his eyes, then wrapped his hand tight around Jin's cock and squeezed, because otherwise Jin would joke around all night.

But for once Jin's goals seemed to align perfectly with Shoon's, since there was no part Jin played better than that of the gorgeous and wriggly distraction, and all that Shoon wanted was to sink into him.

"Just like that, Shoonie," Jin murmured, fingers tight against Shoon's shoulders and one leg wrapped up around his waist, and Shoon got his perfect moment, bright and sharp and head full of nothing but how good Jin felt tight around him.

It didn't last near long enough, but it was sort of okay, a little bit, when Jin soothed Shoon down with warm hands along his spine and soft lips against his temple.

Shoon was dozing against Jin's side when the front door opened and shut, and he blinked to clear the sleep from his eyes when Yamashita came into the room, summoned by Jin's lazy "Welcome home!"

"I'm back," he answered, leaning across Shoon to kiss Jin hello, ruffling Shoon's hair on the way by. Shoon closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the scent of smoke and Yamapi's leather jacket filling his nostrils. When he opened his eyes, Yamapi was watching him. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Shoon lied, shrugging. It would be true, sooner or later, whatever happened. He was a Johnny's after all.

"You will be," Yamapi promised, offering Shoon a reassuring smile and flicking a gaze towards Jin. "This isn't the first time I've seen that look."

Still though, it wasn't as if Shoon didn't welcome the distraction when he and Jin reached up to yank Yamapi down into bed between them.