Title: Inconsistent System [Axel/Roxas]
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Rating/Warnings: R, i suppose, for overuse of the words 'swallows'. Spoilers for CoM and up through entry into TWTNW.
Summary: There's no solution.
A/N:
Thanks to laylah
for letting me wibble about this constantly for the last week. Also,
you get a Math Crystal if you get the dweeb humor that spawned the
title.
"But
you lose," Roxas is giving him that look again, the exasperated nose
wrinkle back over his shoulder as he's trying to go on his way while
Axel trots along after him. "You lose every single time, and this time
won't be any different."
"Yeah, but it's…" Axel shouldn't
use the word, but Roxas is still probably new enough not to know he
should tease Axel for it. "It's fun!"
"Nobodies can't have
fun," Roxas turns the rest of the way away, and Axel frowns because
Roxas is using the 'I've been talking to Saïx again' voice.
"Only the ones who don't know how to do it right,"
Axel insists, skipping a half-step forward so he can bump Roxas's
shoulder and whine until Roxas turns back to him with a new and
improved look, the one with the upgraded eyebrow, and says fine, fine
they can spar and geez does Axel have to be such a whiny baby about it,
but Axel just smirks because he's got a dark corridor open fast enough
to make Roxas trip into it with a startled curse, and also because he
likes it when Roxas gives him the look.
He even likes being
knocked on his back with Roxas's keyblade at his throat, although
Marluxia would just say that that's because Axel doesn't really
remember what liking things is like.
Axel remembers just fine.
Fine enough to know that what he really likes is knowing that Roxas is seeing only him. And what he really doesn't
like is how every nobody and their heartless is constantly sniffing
around for Roxas's attention. It's always "Want to play a game with me,
Roxas" and "Check out this new combo, Roxas" and "Come down to my
creepy laboratory and don't you think it's hot in here feel free to
take off your robes, Roxas" until Axel starts to smell a little like
something that's been in the microwave twenty seconds too long.
"Had
enough?" Roxas asks, stepping back a few paces. He's got one keyblade,
the girly one, resting against his shoulder, and is twirling the other
one over the back of his hand in smooth circles. Instead of reflecting
the greasy neon lights of the city, the metal seems to swallow it as it
whooshes through its lazy arcs.
"I'm just getting warmed up!"
Axel grins, then doesn't so much get to his feet as uncoil in the right
way, quick enough that he can sweep Roxas's feet out from under him and
enjoy the wide blue of Roxas's eyes all the way down. It seems to take
longer than it should for Roxas's back to hit the ground, long enough
that Axel can almost see his own reflection against all that blue,
slicker and cleaner than the neon.
Roxas is on his feet again
almost as soon as he touches the ground, keyblades sparking against
Axel's chakrams in a shower of black stars. Their sharp, cold edges
sting Axel's cheeks just a little where they graze, and Axel thinks
that when he has to go, he wouldn't mind being swallowed like the
light.
"What are you staring at me like that for?" Roxas is
glancing at him out of the corner of his eye when Axel finally can't
come up with any more excuses for them to stay outside, and Axel barely
gets his mouth open to say some smartass thing before Luxord appears in
front of them and asks if Roxas might have a little time to spare.
But he can't help laughing when Roxas says Luxord should know.
******
Maybe
Castle Oblivion is finally starting to get to him, Axel thinks, then
laughs and tugs on one of Larxene's convenient bangs and wonders if
there was ever a time this place, endless staircases none of them need
to use and white rooms they all use too much, didn't get to him.
If
there was, it was before the kid, the duck, and the…whatever
that other thing is showed up. Not exactly the heroic group Axel had
been expecting when Marluxia was capering about in orgasmic glee and
cackling about the advent of the keyblade master.
Sora's not
even doing anything that great, so far as Axel can tell, he's just
beating up a bunch of things that he's already beat up in real life
over again. He wants to tell Marluxia that he doesn't see what the big
effing deal is about this kid, but Marluxia wasn't the one giving Sora
and his big blue eyes the whole song and dance about finding the other
side of his heart, about keeping his head on straight.
He just
got turned around, is all, any nobody would after swimming through this
kid's head and out the other side, where every other memory is somebody
giving a speech about light and hearts and friends and promises and
maybe the sooner Namine puts her mojo on the little overachiever, the
better.
Axel frowns just thinking about it, and bends the card
he's holding in between his thumbs and forefingers just a little more
roughly, back and forth, back and forth. He's been watching the kid
ever since, loitering near the globes and trailing him floor to floor.
"Just
like a little puppy," Larxene had smirked at him as she smoothed the
ragged edge of a nail with the tip of a naked blade. "Just like…"
"Shut
up," Axel snaps, the taste of singed hair on the back of his throat,
because saying Roxas's name in this place makes Axel itch. Because
watching Larxene fool around with this Sora kid feels like the same
kind of itch, and Axel doesn't bother to swallow the laugh when
Larxene's blades are knocked out of her hands, pink cards spilling
across the floor like a Marluxian temper tantrum.
His fingers
flex with the desire to call his chakrams and go down there, to be the
only thing reflected in Sora's wide eyes and girly Fairy Harp keyblade,
flex with enough force to nearly crease the card in half before he
realizes what he's doing. He scowls at himself, tucks the card in his
pocket, and takes two steps towards the door before Larxene comes
storming in, then Vexen just has to get his two cents in, and before
Axel can escape he's stuck in an official Castle Oblivious staff
meeting, which means the castle princess himself has to make his grand
entrance and give the keynote speech.
Axel snorts a sigh of
relief when Larxene and Vexen both go off to sulk, the urge to work off
some of this nervous energy still buzzing in his fingertips.
"And
you," Marluxia says as though he's just had a casual thought, but he's
eyeing Axel sharply and tapping his chin with two fingers, "don't
meddle."
"I wasn't—"
"You just stay right here and
keep an eye on things until Vexen makes his move." Marluxia smirks and
slides a gloved palm over the slick curve of the glass globe. "I
believe you like to watch, don't you, VIII?"
So Axel grits his
teeth and waits, and when he just can't take it anymore, he goes ahead
and tosses Vexen the card he's been thumbing the corners of in his
pocket for the entirety of this ridiculous farce of a mutiny.
"Make a good experiment, don't you think?" Axel asks, eyes keen for the catch because Vexen cannot honestly be this stupid,
but then again if curiosity can send this idiot down into the crystal
catacombs of Hollow Bastion with nothing but a flashlight and a sack,
handing over a card to the keyblade master probably seems like the sort
of menial task Vexen ought to be ordering Zexion to do, regardless of
what's printed on the front of it.
Vexen's body looks like it
should put up much more resistance against the slick edges of the
chakrams, instead of shredding like the onionskin paper in the
notebooks he still keeps, and Axel thinks that he should have asked
Vexen if he thought it was too warm in here while he could still hear.
The
joke kind of dies somewhere in Axel's lower brain, however, when he
looks up to find Sora's eyes glued to him, wide and scared, but angry
too, the dark of his pupils swallowing more of the blue even as Axel
watches, and that keyblade won't be dangling limply in Sora's fingers
for too much longer.
"I thought you wanted a fight?" Larxene
snaps, still sulking, when he pops into her room. She's got a scratch
down one cheek that's oozing sluggishly.
"Not with him." Axel's
robes feel too tight, his skin feels too tight, and it takes him
several seconds of hissing his breath through clenched teeth for him to
will his chakrams away successfully. "Where's that thing of Vexen's?"
he demands, and when she tells him, slams through the door because he
doesn't trust that he won't accidentally teleport himself someplace
that he wants to be even less.
And he's definitely been hanging around these freaks too long, because he's got this theory, this hyp-o-the-sis Vexen would have chanted it like he was saying an Ave Maria, that one nobody with a keyblade plus one somebody with a keyblade all over those innocent baby blues equals…
…well,
something bad, anyway. And Axel thinks he knows how to test his theory.
Even Zexion looks intrigued, just before Vexen's toy finishes him off.
Axel
figures absorbing the strength of one of the Organization members must
be basically equivalent to being trained by the Organization. When Axel
gets a good look at where the real Riku is before sending the replica
off, he tells the replica that it's only fitting and doesn't bother to
explain.
The experiment has sobering results. As Vexen's toy
fades into shadowed wisps, Axel shivers from something he can't name,
and when he tries to laugh it off, Zexion's empty room echoes the noise
back at him, brittle and sharp, until Axel escapes the blue walls at a
pace that would be embarrassing if there were anyone left to see.
Or maybe Castle Oblivion is just starting to get to him.
*******
"It's
fine!" Roxas snaps, pushing at Axel's hands, but Axel refuses to stop
smoothing fingers over the bruises and welts littering Roxas's chest
and sides. They're fading, but Axel didn't happen to have a hi-potion
on hand and the healing is starting to slow already, and Axel is going
to get up and find another potion just as soon as he can pull his hands
away from Roxas's skin.
"Who was it?" he asks, sliding his thumb over a yellowing patch.
"His
friend." Roxas turns his head away on the pillow when Axel sinks his
thumb deeper into the bruise. "He said they needed me to…"
"I'll get you another potion." Axel stands and gets halfway turned before Roxas's fingers close around his wrist.
"I
said I'm fine!" Roxas yanks Axel towards him, leaning up on one elbow,
and Axel blinks at him for about half a breath before stripping off his
robe and kicking off his boots and tumbling into the bed to curl
himself tightly around Roxas's back. "Ow, your elbows, you ass!"
But
Axel squeezes him tighter because he knows damned well who it was and
he didn’t have to be there to see how Riku's eyes glitter with
adrenaline when what he's selling is a one-way ticket to the void.
Roxas
twists to turn himself over in Axel's arms, to tug Axel's weight on top
of him, his noises pained and hungry, his arms curling over the back of
Axel's neck, and Axel presses him down into the sheets harder, letting
his knees slide down to dig into the mattress on either side of Roxas's
thighs. He can't get any closer, can't get close enough, although he
tries when Roxas digs fingers into his hair spikes and presses teeth
against the skin under Axel's jaw.
"OW, fuck," Roxas gasps
when Axel presses fingers into the curving purple slash across Roxas's
shoulders, "don't stop," and Axel grinds their hips together until
Roxas's eyes snap open again, wide and dark and blue-ringed like an
eclipse. "I want…"
"I don't give a fuck what you want,"
Axel says harshly against Roxas's lips, then shoves himself down,
dragging the rest of Roxas's uniform down with him and tossing it
aside, out of his way, before sliding arms around to bind Roxas's hips
firmly still, and Roxas is so thin that Axel can almost get his hand
around flat on Roxas's stomach on the other side.
Axel waits until Roxas is staring at nothing but him before he swallows Roxas whole.
******
"I
did what I could," Naminé had said, eyes constantly shifting to
the side to watch for DiZ, then back to the notebook in her lap where
she was drawing thick spikes of yellow and red, and Axel is nobody
enough to admit that he has no fucking clue what comes next.
He's
sitting on an overpass in Twilight Town, the real one, not that sick
joke of DiZ's, watching the people drift below his swinging feet who
never look up, and groping desperately for the secret weapon that will
make his next shot at Roxas better than all the previous ones, but all
he can think about is the fact that he's only got one, maybe two, more
tries at this.
In the pavement on either side of him, the
assassins make lazy loops through the concrete like it's water, nothing
showing but the glint of their spines. Roxas always liked their sleek
glimmer, liked running his hands over their razored backs as they rose
up and slipped back down, circling him. When Roxas was here, the
assassins did tricks like dolphins sometimes, shooting into the air and
rolling, doing loop-de-loops and rainbowing over his head and letting
Roxas hold up fingers to skim their bellies.
But now that it's
just Axel again, they stay underground unless he orders them to
surface, only swirling up until the tips of their spikes brush Axel's
palm when he holds out a hand.
He can't just sit here though,
he knows, plan or no plan, and if the feeling of thousands of invisible
electronic fingers probing him and breaking him down into ones and
zeros makes his stomach churn, it's nothing compared to that
split-second of being reflected in Roxas's eyes again, only to watch
the recognition be swallowed by vacant blue.
Besides, he's
been in one place too long, and the dusk that wobbles around the
corner, limbs stuttering as it scents the air, finally pushes Axel into
action. He keeps his eyes on the dusk as he steps backwards into the
corridor, making sure it keeps sniffing in the wrong direction, and
wonders if maybe he's been everyplace too long.
******
Not
that he's got much experience with brilliant ideas lately, but Axel
thinks he's got enough of a handle on the situation to know a really
bad idea when his brain spits one out.
The hallway in front of him twists in a sickening spiral of oranges and pinks, the keyblade—a candy cane, is this kid serious—is
arcing red and silver through the sea of lurching nobodies, but all
Axel can see is the glow of determined blue under the sweat-damp spikes
of hair sticking to Sora's face.
Axel bets those spikes are
soft, figures they must be, and shakes his head when an assassin slides
from the ground and loops Axel's wrist once before sinking back down,
its spikes hissing softly against the leather of Axel's glove.
"You
damn brat," Axel grumbles as he starts forward, waving the assassins
back, and the recognition in Sora's eyes when he notices isn't quite
what Axel's looking for, but still feels better than anything else has
in longer than he cares to think about.
And it feels good to
go all out, to see the keyblade flashing out of the corner of his eye,
to press his back against somebody's in fleeting brushes, and to wonder
if getting Roxas back now would mean that he would be as tall and
finely muscled as Sora's gotten over the last year, or if Roxas would
still be small enough for Axel to throw over his shoulder and tumble
into bed.
"Don't they ever end?!" the kid demands, and
the anger, real anger, in his voice startles Axel almost as much as how
deep his voice is, and then he yells Axel's name and lunges to cut the
nobody leaping for Axel clean in half, and Axel finally has the
completely insane idea that he really needed, like, a week ago.
It's such a bad idea that it's genius, and the flames on Axel's chakrams shiver from the adrenaline of just thinking
about it as Axel steps away, clear of Sora. There's a moment of
distraction when Sora turns and Axel gets another good look at that
keyblade and wishes desperately that the kid would have gotten some
sort of decent, grown-up weapon for Christmas.
"Watch this,"
he says, and when Roxas's other has wide blue eyes fixed only on him,
Axel realizes that he's really going to do it, and laughs as the metal
of his chakrams starts melting his gloves, because this is not at all
what he'd imagined would happen at the end, but it's almost close
enough, and then everything goes red and orange and black.
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