Harry and Terry were standing
by the lake smoking when Terry tensed suddenly and tossed his cigarette
into the grass. Harry had barely turned to see what the matter was when
Seamus drove a shoulder into Terry's middle, throwing them both to the
ground.
"Seamus?" Harry asked stupidly. Seamus struck
Terry's nose with a wet smack, galvanizing Harry into action. "Terry!"
Harry lunged forward and dragged Seamus off Terry by
the robe collar, nearly catching a fist in the face himself for his
troubles.
"Seamus!" he shouted. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"I'll kill him!" Seamus roared, thrashing until
Harry thought his arms might wrench out of their sockets. "Let me go,
you fucking bastard!"
Terry had climbed to his feet, seeming not even to
notice that blood was pouring from his nose and lip. His expression was
completely closed off as he watched Harry struggle with Seamus.
"Let him go, I can handle him," he said after a
moment.
"Not helping!" Harry snarled. He finally managed to
swing Seamus a bit to the side so that he could put himself between
Seamus and Terry. "Seamus, stop! What the fuck's the matter with you?!"
"He…bastard…hair…" Seamus seemed incapable of
delivering a complete thought in his rage. Without thinking, Harry let
go with one hand and slapped him hard across the face. Seamus went pale
and still.
"Tell me what's going on right now," Harry ordered
coldly. Seamus seemed to gather himself.
"He's been blackmailing Draco," Seamus hissed,
shooting a glance over Harry's shoulder to where Terry was still
standing. "Making him do things, all term, since summer."
Harry felt cold suddenly, but Seamus had more.
"Must've got one of my hairs," Seamus snarled, lips
pulling so far back from his teeth that it must have hurt. "He used
Polyjuice. He went down to the dungeons as me, then stayed just long
enough so Draco could see him change back."
"What?" Harry stared down at Seamus
uncomprehendingly.
"He stole my fucking face, Potter," Seamus spat,
finally tearing himself free of Harry's numb fingers. He stood, glaring
white-faced at Harry with a heaving chest. "He stole my body and raped
Draco with it. Go on, deny it!" he screamed at Terry.
Harry turned slowly to face Terry who had neither
moved nor changed expressions.
"Why should I?" Terry said in a blank voice. "It's
true."
"Terry?" Harry asked in a very small, very hollow
voice.
"For his father's things," Terry explained flatly,
as if he was telling Harry about a Potions exam. "It was stupid things
at first, then a few beatings. It got out of control."
"All term?" Harry asked, feeling dizzy and stupid.
"Since summer," Terry answered.
Harry turned without a word, walking past Seamus
without a second glance, leaving his school bag and robes by the lake,
and climbed the hill back towards the castle, concentrating very hard
on not falling on his face, even though the world felt like it was
spinning wildly underneath his feet.
*
* *
*
* *
Remus looked up from the essay he was grading when
his door was pushed open without a knock, surprised to see Harry in the
middle of the day, especially Harry without his bag or robes. He opened
his mouth to say hello when something in the tight way Harry was
holding himself made the words die in his throat.
He got up while Harry was closing the door quietly
behind him and came around the desk. He put hands on Harry's shoulders
and examined the confused green eyes that blinked up at him behind
thick lenses.
"Harry," he said gently, "What's happened? Is it
Voldemort? You haven't been possessed again, have you?"
Harry let out a weird giggle that made the hairs on
Remus' neck raise.
"No," he answered. "No, I'm fine. Everything's
fine." Harry let out another little laugh and Remus felt a chill pass
through him.
"Please tell me what's happened, Harry," Remus asked
again.
"Seamus just told me," Harry answered, having
trouble getting all the words out around the giggles he couldn't quite
suppress, "that Terry's been blackmailing Draco with his father's
possessions all term. And just the other day he…he…"
Harry's face sort of writhed for a moment, then the
laughter took over again, the wrongness of the sound scraping over
Remus' ears like nails on a chalkboard.
"Polyjuice," Harry announced suddenly, and Remus
swallowed hard, able to easily imagine half a dozen places this could
go, and none of them were good. "He turned himself into Seamus
and…Draco…"
Remus sucked in a breath, remembering Seamus'
fumbling questions about his sexuality, and suddenly having
all-too-clear an idea of what had happened.
"Terry went to Draco as Seamus, is that it?" Remus
asked softly, trying to spare Harry from actually saying the words.
"He's abusing Draco sexually."
Harry nodded slowly, wide eyes pleading for
something and still laughing weakly. Each mirthless noise cut into
Remus a little deeper.
Remus had heard laughter like that more than once in
his life. From several Order members in the course of the first war.
From Sirius right after Azkaban, and again in the weeks right before
his death. From himself, the November morning Frank Longbottom came to
tell him that three of his best friends were dead and the fourth was
going on trial for it.
It was the sound of somebody who has had nearly all
that they can take. Harry was on the verge of a breakdown, and Remus
thought heavily that it was a wonder it had taken this long.
Having nothing else to say, Remus pulled Harry close
to hug him. Harry pressed his face into Remus' neck and shook as if he
was crying, but only more muffled laughter came out.
"Terry…Draco…"Harry's words untangled themselves
from Remus' robes slowly. "The whole time…I've been sl-sleeping with
him…"
Something finally did come loose inside Harry, Remus
felt it give with an almost physical snap, and Harry began to cry at
last, clutching at Remus convulsively and gasping harsh sobs against
his shoulder.
Remus wanted to murder Terry Boot, wanted to take
him by the neck and shake him until his neck snapped, both for Harry's
sake and for Draco's. He had to settle for crushing Harry to his chest
and rubbing his back soothingly.
Harry cried longer than Remus would have imagined
possible, cried until no more tears came and he could no longer make
noise, but still he pressed against Remus, shaking and hiccupping
silently. Remus was still not calm enough to trust himself to speak.
Instead he pulled gently away from Harry, who lacked
the strength to keep a hold on him. He went to a bookcase and tapped
several apparently random books sharply, then pulled out another and
the whole case swung outward a little. He reached behind and drew out
the silvery folds of the Invisibility Cloak he had hidden there for
Harry weeks ago.
Returning to Harry, he wrapped the soft folds around
Harry's shoulders and tugged the front together. He finally spoke, low
and steady.
"Go to my rooms," he ordered. "The password's
'Footpad'. I want you to lay down and sleep if you can. I'll come as
soon as I'm able, and I'll bring you dinner."
Harry sniffled hoarsely in reply, still staring up
at Remus. He didn't move.
"Go on," Remus tugged the hood over Harry's face and
kissed the top of the invisible head. "I'll be there soon, I promise."
He gave Harry a gentle push towards the door, and
after a second of lag the door opened just far enough for a thing
teenager to squeeze through, then shut again silently.
Remus went back around his desk, pushing the
bookcase back against the wall as he passed. He sat down gingerly in
chair, staring uncomprehendingly at the work he had been doing before
and wanting to do nothing but have a good cry himself.
After a moment he pulled open a drawer and rummaged around for a
different parchment, one that had dozens of other handwritings
appearing and disappearing on it all the time. He addressed a brief
note to McGonagall to say that Harry was safe and that no one might see
him around for a bit, and another to Draco, asking if he could come
down to his office, today if possible, or tomorrow at the latest. He
paused, hand suspended in midair, for a moment before starting a new
entry.
After marking his entry
[Private],
Remus toyed with his quill a moment before simply writing:
Padfoot—
If I can keep
either myself or Harry, or both of us, from following you past that
damned veil before this term is over, it'll be a miracle.
I need you --
Moony
Remus still had his head buried in his hands when
there was a sharp knock on his door.
"Come in," Remus sighed after a moment. If he hadn't
been fairly sure it was Draco, he might have made some attempt to
straighten his ragged appearance, but the teenager had seen his legal
guardian in much worse states of disrepair.
"Is something happening?" Draco asked bluntly as he
came into the room. One look at Remus and his expression solidified
into resignation. "Lay it on me, this week can't get much worse as it
is."
Remus sized up Draco for a moment silently, now able
to read the tightness across his face and the light shaking of his
hands with unfortunate clarity. His eyes were just as confused and
tired as Harry's had been, and Remus wondered whether Draco was as
close to a breakdown. Maybe he'd already been there and back.
"How's your back?" Remus asked instead, putting off
the real conversation for a few seconds longer.
"It's better," Draco seemed to relax a tiny bit, and
he flexed his shoulders slightly. "The salve really did help, it isn't
bleeding anymore. Thank you."
"Don't mention it," Remus shrugged. "I am your
guardian after all, Draco."
There was another moment of silence.
"You might as well go on and tell me," Draco sat on
the very edge of the chair in front of Remus' desk. "Whatever it is
isn't going to get any easier, judging from your face."
"I know what Terry Boot has been doing to you,"
Remus said softly, suppressing a sigh at Draco's suddenly closed-off
expression. "Or at least, I know about the Polyjuice, and I've good
guesses as to the rest."
Draco closed his eyes and sagged back against the
chair, so pale Remus imagined he could see blue blood vessels pulsing
beneath the surface of his skin.
"What are you going to do?" Draco finally whispered.
"Nothing, unless there is something you would like
me to do," Remus said quietly. "Does he still have all of your family's
things?"
"He gives them back one or two at a time," Draco
answered weakly, eyes still shut.
"How many are left?"
Draco shrugged lightly. "I've no idea. A half-dozen
of my father's journals at least. Who knows what else he's got. It's
two, three weeks of meetings at least."
Remus clenched his hands, fighting the wolf instinct
to smash something with everything he had. He took several deep breaths
before he was sure he could speaking without his voice shaking.
"I wanted you to know that I knew," he said at last,
voice low but even. "So you'd know you could talk about it if you
wanted to."
"Thank you," Draco whispered dully. Needing to move,
Remus stood and came around the desk. He touched Draco's shoulder
gently and felt the boy flinch at the touch.
"Draco, don't do this much longer," Remus pled
softly. "What he's doing to you…you're going to be damaged permanently
sooner or later. And I'm not talking about those cane marks."
"I don't have a choice," Draco answered hollowly. He
looked up at Remus, desperation strewn across his face. "Please don't
tell anyone."
"I won't do anything you don't want me to," Remus
repeated. "But if there is anything I can do, anything, Draco, please
tell me."
"There's nothing anybody can do." Draco dropped his
eyes. "I'm just going to have to take it until he's through. I was
managing…" Draco's voice started to shake. "When it was just him, when
I still had Pansy and Millie and…and Seamus. Now, I can't…the whole
time I'm with them, I'm wondering if it's really him." Draco cut
himself off with a hurking intake of breath before the last few words
came out in a tumble. "I can't even look at Seamus, that bastard's
taking everything from me,
everything…"
Draco broke off at last, long past where any normal
person would have been unable to stop tears, but he kept struggling
against his, blinking angrily.
Remus wanted nothing more than to hug Draco tightly,
but was fairly certain that sudden physical contact would do more
damage than good to a recent sexual abuse victim. Unable to do nothing
any longer, Remus reached out a hand to Draco, allowing him to accept
it if he wanted it. Draco stared at it for a moment before taking it
gingerly, his hand feeling cold and clammy to Remus. Remus tugged him
up out of his chair gently and pulled him close slowly, giving him
plenty of time to pull away.
Draco stiffened when Remus slid arms around his thin
back. He relaxed by degrees, returning the hug awkwardly, as if he had
not received a proper one for a some time. After so much time with
Harry, Remus was very used to this and simply held on, letting Draco
move closer or draw back as he chose.
Draco stepped back after a few seconds, and Remus
dropped his arms. Draco looked a little less like he might shatter at
any moment, but he was still shaking slightly and wore a pinched
expression. He stared at the floor rather than meeting Remus' eyes.
"I know we aren't very close," Remus said after a
moment. "Sometimes, Harry comes by just to talk, even if nothing in
particular is wrong. I want you to feel that you can do the same, any
time you want."
Draco nodded once, still staring at his feet. Remus
reached over his desk and opened a drawer, then pulled out a squat jar.
"More salve," Remus explained, handing it to Draco,
who clenched a hand around it. "Your back shouldn't need any more as it
is now, but…"
Remus trailed off with a sigh and Draco nodded
again.
"I'm going to make some incredibly strong tea now,"
Remus informed the pale teenager. "You are more than welcome to stay if
you want."
"I…no, thanks," Draco finally dragged his gaze up
from the floor and gave a quirked half-smile. "Pansy'll worry if I miss
dinner."
Draco paused at the door to thank Remus softly
again, then slipped out, shutting the door firmly behind him.
*
* *
*
* *
Remus didn't see Harry in his rooms when he entered,
but wasn't concerned. He set the tray of food he had procured from the
kitchens down on a table and leaned into the bedroom.
A soft sigh came from nowhere, and a shallow dent in
Remus' blankets shifted slightly. Remus chuckled and reached down to
tug the hood of the invisibility cloak off Harry's face before the kid
suffocated himself.
What is it about
Potters and Invisibility Cloaks? Remus mused to himself,
thinking of all the times he'd seen James do the same thing.
It's like they think their problems will
leave if they can't find them.
He turned to leave the room, planning to let Harry
sleep as long as he needed to, when Harry began to whimper. Sighing,
Remus sat down on the edge of his bed and shook Harry lightly by the
possibly-shoulder.
Harry came awake with a start, glancing around
wildly. He looked around the room in confusion before focusing on
Remus, then slumped a little back against the pillows.
"Nightmare," he whispered.
"I know," Remus said, reaching over to smooth down
Harry's sleep-wild hair soothingly. "I brought sandwiches and soup, and
tea if you aren’t up to either of those."
Harry agreed to tea and possibly soup, and Remus
even talked him into half a sandwich, although Harry only took a few
bites before shredding the rest beyond recognition.
"If he would have been a Death Eater or something,"
Harry finally said suddenly, "I would have understood that. This
doesn't make any sense."
"Sixteen-year-olds don't, a lot of times," Remus
said. He suppressed a wince as he thought of several of the more
horrible things he'd helped the other Marauders do during his teenage
years. "They grow out of it, most times."
"I'm not sure you grow out of being a sexually
abusive sadist," Harry replied miserably, shredding his sandwich still
further. "It was stupid of me to think I could even have a
relationship. It was stupid to even try."
Remus thought his heart might break for the Boy Who
Might Live If He Survived His First Breakup.
"Harry, listen to me," Remus said firmly, reaching
over to force Harry to look up at him. "I won't pretend this whole
situation isn't unbelievably horrific. But it's never stupid to love
somebody, or even just be attracted to them. And it's never ever stupid
to try and take whatever happiness you can find with them."
"Better to have loved and lost, Remus?" Harry
shrugged him off. "You'll pardon me if I snort derisively just now."
"I'll pardon you if you do a lot worse than that
before this is all over," Remus reassured, thinking of several things
he'd like to do personally to the Ravenclaw responsible.
What he did do was to pretend he didn't see the look
of cold calculation forming on Harry's face.
*
* *
*
* *
Draco found Harry already waiting for him inside the
Forbidden Forest at their usual time on Monday, but the dark rings
under his eyes and pale mien didn't say he was raring for a fistfight.
Draco said as much.
"You don't look so brilliant yourself," Harry
shrugged. "I want to talk to you a minute, then we can beat the crap
out of each other as usual if you want."
Draco eyed Harry dispassionately for a moment before
sitting slowly on the ground beside him, carefully avoiding resting his
still-healing back against the tree behind him.
"I'm the one who told Remus about Terry blackmailing
you," Harry told him bluntly. "I was with Terry when Seamus attacked
him, that's how I found out. I wasn't really in a state to think about
it at the time, but it wasn't my secret to tell, and I'm sorry."
"He already knew most of it anyway," Draco shrugged
after a few moments, "so don't worry about it."
"When do you see Terry again?" Harry asked.
"Tomorrow night," Draco answered guardedly. "Why?"
Harry didn't answer, but he leaned over to pluck
several hairs out of Draco's head with deliberation. Draco said nothing
and did not interfere while Harry pulled a small vial out of his pocket
and dropped the hairs into it.
"Polyjuice takes a month to brew," Draco stated, as
if he was mentioning a bit of random trivia.
"Yes it does," Harry nodded, tucking the vial back
into his robes. "Spend tomorrow night where no one will find you. The
Room of Requirement should be good enough."
"You don't want to do this, Potter," Draco said
angrily, wondering why he wasn't going to stop Harry. He felt a burst
of fury when Harry didn't answer and began stripping off his shirt,
twisting around so Harry could get a good look at his back.
Harry remained silent, but Draco felt him touch one
of the deeper grooves and suppressed a wince. When Harry withdrew his
hand, Draco yanked his shirt back up but didn't re-button it before
turning around. There was really no point if they were going to fight
in a minute.
"Remus has been healing them for better than two
weeks," Draco informed him coldly. "So I suggest you put your misplaced
Gryffindor self-sacrifice back in your pants and let me finish things
for myself."
"Don't show up tomorrow," Harry repeated stubbornly.
"I blew your cover, I'll take the hit for it and we'll be even."
"You don't want this one," Draco hissed, clenching
his fists till his knuckles were white. "Terry's furious Seamus found
out. I can't even imagine what fucked up thing he's got planned for me."
"Then be glad you won't be there for it," Harry
shrugged with maddening calm. He stood up and dusted the moss off his
pants. "Come on, I don't have all night to kick your arse."
It was one of the fiercest fights they'd had yet,
and Draco wondered more than once what personal demon Harry was
exorcising on his face and how Terry Boot was involved.
"Potter, tell me why," Draco asked as he watched the
black eye and cuts fade from Harry's face.
"If someone was blackmailing me with my father's
things, I would have murdered him in cold blood," Harry answered,
carefully polishing his glasses rather than meeting Draco's eyes.
"That's not the reason," Draco said with certainty.
"It's a good one, though," Harry shrugged, turning
his back.
*
* *
*
* *
Draco, slumped in a suitably comfortable chair, was
slightly surprised when the door to the Room of Requirement clicked
open, but not shocked when a white-faced Harry Potter fell through the
doorway and supported himself against the table that was suddenly in
exactly the right spot.
With a humorless smile, Harry tossed a schoolbag at
Draco's feet, wincing at the motion. Draco knew from his face what was
in the bag without looking.
"How?" he merely asked, feeling numb.
"You may have something to lose from telling people
that Terry Boot beat you to within an inch of your life with a cursed
object," the smile grew slightly feral, "but I sure as hell don't."
"Potter…" Draco swallowed hard, trying to wrap his
mind around the fact that he was free of Boot.
"Don't," Harry commanded, pulling himself up to sit
on the table with a groan. "We're even." Harry took a few deep breaths
before announcing quietly, "I'm going to be sick."
Feeling like he ought to do something while Harry
retched into the dustbin the Room had so thoughtfully provided, Draco
stepped closer and touched Harry's shoulder awkwardly.
Harry couldn't entirely swallow the cry of pain, any
more than he could hide the tacky feel of the robes over the shoulder
where the schoolbag had rubbed.
"Let me see," Draco ordered firmly. He pulled the
jar Remus had given him out of his pocket. "I thought I might be
needing this."
Harry had bled right through his shirt underneath
the robes, and Draco was not ashamed at all at how relieved he was to
have missed this beating. Harry was clearly trying not to be sick again
as Draco helped him peel the shirt off his back, ripping open whatever
wounds drying blood had managed to close.
"I require," Harry said weakly, "not to throw up
anymore because it makes my back peel off." Draco gave another sharp
tug, and Harry grabbed for the bin hurriedly.
"Guess even the Room has limits," Draco said.
"Worth a try," Harry gasped, wiping his mouth on the
back of his hand.
They were both silent, except for Harry's small
noises of pain, as Draco smoothed a thick layer of salve over the cuts
and welts.
"Give it a few minutes to dry some," Draco told
Harry when he was finished. Then, after several heartbeats, "You
shouldn't have done this. Not for me."
"Didn't do it for you," Harry replied faintly,
without lifting his head from where it was leaning on the side of the
dustbin. "Do me a favor and I'll owe you one."
"What?"
"Hate me forever," Harry tried to sit up and hissed
in pain. "The only thing that makes my life bearable lately is knowing
I'll get to pound your face in every Monday."
"I was going to do that anyway, Potter," Draco gave
a dark laugh, "so you can have that one for free."
"It's ridiculously ironic," Harry's grim laugh
turned into a dry heave, "that there's only two people I can depend on,
and you're one of them."
As he was picking up the bag, Draco shook his head
slightly.
"I wish I could have seen that bastard's face," he
murmured. Harry made a harsh noise, but when Draco turned, he assumed
it was only from Harry trying to get his robes back on.
"Remind me next time we're in Dumbledore's office
and I'll Pensieve it for you," Harry spat in a weird voice. "You can
even keep it, along with every other memory I have that involves Terry
Boot."
And finally Draco figured out that he wasn't the
only person Boot had been fucking with.