When the club house door swung open, eight pairs of eyes swung towards it, then froze.

Oishi was the first to finally speak. "T—TEZUKA!"

"It's not mine!" Tezuka snapped over the crying three-year-old girl with her arms clamped around his neck. She had a pink polka-dotted dress, two adorable pink-ribboned pigtails, and quite a set of lungs.

"OKAASANISHI!" she wailed.

"Then what are you doing with her, buchou?" Echizen wanted to know.

"And why'd you have to bring her here!" Eiji demanded, hands clamped over her ears.

"This isn't my fault!" Tezuka barked, making the child scream louder.

"It's too loud!" Momoshiro protested. "Buchou, do something! Too loud!"

"Hello, baby." Nobody had seen Fuji move, but now he was standing beside Tezuka, hands behind his back, leaning in to smile at the little girl. "Good babies don't cry."

The girl quieted suddenly, regarding Fuji with perfect almond eyes. She sniffled loudly, like she was testing the rules. "Okaasanishi?" she repeated.

"Not here," Fuji said firmly. He shifted his gaze to Tezuka. "Whoever that is."

"She's my friend's best friend's…never mind," Tezuka cut himself off with a pinched expression. "I'm baby-sitting this afternoon. And you should all be on the courts!"

Nobody paid any attention.

"Aren't you a bit young to baby-sit children this small?" Oishi asked. "Are you certified? Do you know CPR?"

"She's so cute!" Momoshiro exclaimed, now that he wasn't being deafened. "Right, viper? Cute!"

"Nnngh." Kaidoh's voice sounded rather strangled. Inui hadn't said anything yet because he was scribbling a frantic series of notes.

Eiji started laughing suddenly, and when Oishi asked him what it was, said, "It's just that she looks just like…nya, never mind, it's so silly!"

"And what's your name, baby?" Fuji asked the kid.

"I'm Gackt-chan!" she reported immediately, back straightening. "Ima youngest juinya ever."

"OH BABY!" Taka-san exclaimed, and Eiji was laughing so hard he had to lean on Oishi.

******

Fortunately, when Tezuka had finally managed to get the Regulars out of the club house, Gackt-chan was delighted by the fuzziness of the bright yellow tennis balls, and was more than happy to help the freshman pick them up off the courts. She trotted back and forth from the courts to the basket on her pink designer sandals, bending down with the exaggerated care of a toddler trying not to over-balance.

The freshmen were under strict orders to keep Gackt-chan occupied, and every time she turned her back to them, Kachirou knocked a few balls out of the basket and sent them rolling across the empty court.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Oishi called across the net at the next court over, glancing from Gackt-chan to Tezuka, who was trying desperately to serve the ball so that they might have practice.

"Oishi!" he snapped, and a blushing Oishi yanked his gaze back to Tezuka and they actually managed to play tennis for a few minutes.

Until Gackt-chan tripped and fell down on her adorable rump with a squeal of displeasure, and one of Kaidoh's snake shots broke wide because of the distraction and shot across the courts.

"Tezuka!" Oishi gasped, but Tezuka already had his racket back and was drawing a deep breath.

"TEZUKA ZONE!" he bellowed, and the ball veered suddenly from its course to thwack solidly against Tezuka's racket. He whacked it back onto B Court with a stern glare. "Don't get careless!"

"Yes, Tezuka-buchou!" replied a completely mortified Kaidoh, turning slightly so that he would be absolutely sure not to get distracted again, and not even Momoshiro didn't dare make fun of his burning face. Everyone else followed suit as Tezuka glared at them one by one.

"There!" Gackt-chan said, dusting off her palms as she dropped the last tennis ball in the basket. Now that that was done, she could go look for her Okaasanishi. Her Okaasanishi was always getting lost without her and Pi-tousan to keep him in line. This time, with Pi-tousan nowhere to be found either, it was all up to Gackt-chan.

Gackt-chan toddled off, pink sandals scuffing along the cement of the courts, and slipped through the gate in the fence.

******

"Stop here for a minute," Atobe ordered his driver, and his limousine rolled to stop in front of Seigaku. Atobe tapped his chin and regarded the brick wall and carefully manicured lawn thoughtfully. Although he usually liked to warn Tezuka about his visits in order to ensure a proper reception, sometimes surprises could be…

There was a rustling in the bushes and Atobe frowned. Something was in there, something pink. Did Seigaku have an infestation of pink squirrels that Atobe was unaware of?

It really only made marginally more sense when a small child stumbled out of the bushes, pink-ribbboned pigtails bobbing as she glanced around, purpose written all over her adorable, chubby little cheeks.

Atobe glanced up and down the walk; there was no one in sight. Clearly a toddler at a junior high was a lost toddler, and Atobe gave a small sigh of self-sacrifice and prepared to play the hero once again.

******

Stupid Okaasanishi was really lost this time, Gackt-chan sighed. She had looked beside the water fountains and under some rocks and in the bushes and everything!

Gackt-chan pushed her way out of the bushes, glaring that them when they tried to snag her pretty pink sundress, and rubbed her eyes when she was suddenly in the bright sun again. She was a little tired, but she couldn't give up yet! Okaasanishi was still lost!

Suddenly she caught sight of a long, black car in front of her and burst into a dazzling grin. She knew about those! Okaasanishi and Pi-tousan rode in those all the time! Okaasanishi was hiding in the big black care for sure!

Gackt-chan trotted over to the car and smiled when the door started to open, holding up her arms in anticipation of a big hug from Okaasanishi. Okaasanishi was always so happy when he got found!

When the head that poked out of the car had funny-colored hair and a weird splotch on his face, Gackt-chan immediately let loose an ear-piercing wail.

******

"Hey," Momoshiro looked up when he heard the faint sound of a car door. "That sounded familiar."

"WHAT DID I JUST—" Tezuka broke off suddenly, looking around. "Where's Gackt-chan?"

"AMBER ALERTO," said Taka-san.

There was a moment of silence, in which everyone heard the distant but shrill "OKAASANISHI," and then the entire Seigaku tennis club took off for the front gates at a dead run.

Not a single one of them was expecting to find the Atobe limousine parked out front, Atobe himself hiding the backseat from a screeching toddler with his hands over his ears.

******

"Ah, Tezuka," Inui said before Tezuka could actually answer the phone properly, before he had said anything at all. "Still baby-sitting?"

"No." Tezuka glanced around his toddler-destroyed room with a sigh.

"Interesting." There was the sound of pen scratching paper on Inui's end of the line. "After a discussion with Kikumaru-kun about his suspicions and linguistic analysis of the nicknames 'Okaasanishi' and 'Pi-tousan,' Fuji and I have a hypothesis about Gackt-chan's parentage, and I was wondering if you might care to comment on the validity of—"

Tezuka clicked off his phone and dropped it on his desk, then ignored it when it started ringing again almost immediately. Instead, he went to go get a shower, because he still had soggy cookie crumbled into his hair.

And first thing in the morning, he was totally returning those books to Sanada, because, although they were good English practice, they really hadn't taught him anything about baby-sitting at all, and one club was more than enough, thank you.