So for awhile we conducted experiments
In an apartment by the River Road
And we found out that the two things we put together had a
Bad tendency to explode
--Semisonic


Any hope that all these dinners and pantless study sessions with Inui-sempai have just been some sort of miscommunication on Kaidoh's part are dashed when Inui asks if Kaidoh might not mind helping him with something, and Kaidoh finds himself standing in the middle of Inui's lab.

He always thought that door led to Inui-sempai's closet.

The room is filled with stainless steel lab counters and bubbling beakers, and when he hisses back at a mixture that definitely started it, Inui remarks dispassionately that it has more culture than Kaidoh ever will.

"Just what is it that you need help with?" Kaidoh asks, stepping away from a green liquid that looks like it might be able to take him.

"I need to test something." Inui's glasses glint with the light of half a dozen Bunsen burners, and that's how Kaidoh finds himself sitting on a stool clutching a mug that says "Chemists do it on the Periodic Table."

He takes a cautious sip of the liquid within, and then another, longer sip when Inui gives him a pointed look. It's a bit chewier than he typically likes his drinks to be, but this is nothing compared to that time with the homemade lube.

This stuff barely burns at all going down.

"How do you feel?" Inui inquires, notebook at the ready. Kaidoh is disturbed to find that he thinks it's just a little bit hot.

"Gay," he says.

"Hmm." Inui scratches a note. "No change."

Kaidoh stays on the stool, but is asked to hold random ingredients from time to time as Inui adjusts the proportions of the mixture, a jar of peanut butter, then a raw egg, then some striped fruit-flavored gum.

"It helps bring everything together," Inui says without looking up from the beaker he's stirring counterclockwise. "Don't worry, it's sugar-free."

By the third taste-test, Kaidoh is feeling more than just a little hot, although it's up in the air whether that's because of the substances he's been imbibing, or because of the lack of windows in the room. Sweat trickles down his back, collecting in his elbows and behind his knees. Inui-sempai must be feeling it too; he's taken off his uniform jacket, but his white T-shirt is sticking to him across his shoulders, and his glasses have slid to the very tip of his nose.

They slip off entirely when Inui leans over the beaker just a little more, and Kaidoh's hand is clenched around them before he even realized he was moving.

"Here, sempai," Kaidoh says gruffly, holding out the glasses. Inui looks strange without his glasses, naked. Kaidoh is much more comfortable when they are back in place and he can no longer see the way that Inui is looking at him. "You shouldn't overdo it, sempai. The heat will get to you if you aren't careful."

"Hm, yes." Inui is still staring at Kaidoh, and thus doesn't notice when he wraps his hands around Kaidoh's drink rather than his own. Before Kaidoh can protest, Inui has downed the whole thing.

He sways just a little, and then goes down like Momo after two shots.

"Inui-sempai?" Kaidoh slips off the stool and kneels over Inui, slipping a hand behind his head to see if Inui has cracked his skull open. There's a moment of panic when he feels something warm and sticky, but then he recognizes the texture of the stuff he's been drinking. "Inui-sempai! How do you feel?"

Inui blinks, peering up at Kaidoh.

"Gay," he says, then wraps a hand in Kaidoh's T-shirt and yanks him down.

Journal Entry 48473:

Experiment 635, Inui's Lucky Kouhai Longevity Juice: Formula version 5 deemed failure. Further research unlikely to return results worth effort expended; cf experiment 389. Experiment 635 terminated.

Inui pauses a moment to organize his thoughts, tapping his pen on his notebook. The notebook rises and falls gently with his writing desk's slow breaths. When Inui settles his elbow back down on Kaidoh's back to begin writing again, Kaidoh hisses softly in his sleep.

Experiment 389, Inui's Perpetual Motion Lubricant: Formula version 39 deemed success. Problem of Kouhai Longevity found to be one of formula rather than enthusiasm (cf experiment 635, now terminated). Comparison of experimental formula to specialty commercial product led to several key modifications. Extensive testing returned satisfactory results. Modifications may follow if necessary.

Final notes: owe Fuji-kun 2575Y in supply fees.