<>18 April
Percy—
Can't say it wasn't a surprise to hear from you, but
it was it was good to see Hermes at my window after so long. I'd be
happy to meet you for a drink. Three Broomsticks on Thursday it is. I
might even treat you if you're nice, since what good's a professional
Quidditch contract if you can't spread the wealth around a little?
--Oliver
25 April
Percy—
I had fun the other day, and I wanted to make sure
you didn't disappear for another seven years before we did it again.
Next week, same time, same place, what do you say?
--Oliver
3 May
Weasley—
Sure, we can change the place for next time if you
want. What's the matter, you can't bear to be seen with me in public?
And no, I haven't told Ron about seeing you. I think all of this is a
bit silly, you know, it isn't like we're doing anything wrong.
Ron and Ginny are doing fine, since you asked.
They've just moved into a new flat, although it's just as much a hole
in the wall as the last place. Honestly, you'd think an assistant coach
would put his money into living someplace where you don't need an
umbrella to use the loo when it rains, but he can't bear to leave his
baby sister in the lurch.
Not like he spends that much time there anyway.
What about Gilby's, down in Notting Hill Square?
They do a fry up that'll make your short hairs curl.
--Wood
28 May
Weasley—
Again? Merlin, man, we aren't carrying on a bloody intrigue here! The
only reason people might be talking about you is because you keep
acting like there's something to talk about. You haven't been reading
Muggle romance novels again, have you?
And while we're on the subject, I can't say that I'm
very comfortable keeping secrets from Ron, especially one like this.
Would it really be the end of the world if he knew that I was meeting
an old classmate for drinks once in a while? It's been a long time,
maybe it's time to stop acting like you're the only Weasley left on the
planet.
But, fine, you want to go someplace else, fine. But
it's your turn to pick, I picked last time.
--Wood
19 June
Weasley—
What's the matter, Weasley, too busy to owl a mate?
All your time taken up making sure the point on your head is up to
Ministry standards?
You, me, and a bottle of Rosmerta's finest, Tuesday
at 6, and I won't hear another word about it.
--Wood
31 July
Percy---
I just got back from Harry's birthday party. The
twins asked if Ron had heard from you at all, and I just stood there
like a guilty idiot while Ron said that nobody had, not in years, not a
single word.
I don’t like this, I don't like it at all.
I've been your friend since before you bemoaned your first cauldron
bottom thickness, but I love Ron and I'm sick of sneaking around and
practically lying to his face.
Owl your brother.
I don’t care which one, there's enough to pick from certainly, but just
fucking do it already!
It's time to
grow up.
--Oliver
9 August
Weasley—
Don't think you can make me go away just by ignoring
me. You know I'm right.
--Wood
14 August
Weasley—
That's enough, you stubborn bastard. I'll be outside your office
in ten minutes and by god you'd better be there too or I'll tell every
Weasley on the island about that time you called Clearwater 'Minerva'
in
flagrante delicto.
--Wood
28 August
Weasley—
Happy birthday, old man! I know the big day was a few days ago,
but I have a late present for you. Enclosed you should find a ticket
for Puddlemere's next home game, if my owl is properly recovered from
his last trip to the twins' shop. We're facing off against the Bats,
should be quite a match, but we've got the home advantage.
I'd really like it if you came out afterwards with
us. It'd be our treat, dinner anyplace you like? If you'd rather just
see the match and then vanish, that's all right, but you should really
think about it.
I'll be looking for that orange pig head of yours in
the stands, and don't you think for a second I won't know whether
you're there or not.
--Wood
14 September
Percy—
I've got to cancel our meet up this week, I'm
afraid. Ron's made a date for us to have dinner with Remus and Harry. I
could ask him to change it, if I were allowed to act as though you
existed and didn't have to see you on the sly like some kind of
three-Knut strumpet.
I mean it, Percy, it's been long enough, I think
it's time for you to talk to someone in your family, anyone. All it
would take is an owl or a floo. They miss you, and I know you miss
them. What's the worst that can possibly happen? Where's that
Gryffindor courage?
Don't make me Howler you, man. Next week,
definitely.
--Oliver
6 October
Weasley—
Here's another copy of that article you asked me about. It's a
shame they used the picture from Ron's Bigger is Better hair phase, but
the quote from Coach Breely more than makes up for it. Try and keep
that stupid plant of yours away from this one. Can't you housetrain
that thing?
He can really draw up a play, can't he? You saw
some of his new stuff at the Bats match, he's brilliant, constantly
doodling plays on anything he can get his hands on in the flat, there's
no stopping him when he's got an idea. The other day I went to put on
my pants and found the Bilius Switchback stretched over my left
arsecheek.
Wednesday then? I know we've got out of the habit,
but you won't rid yourself of me that easily, Weasley.
--Wood
21 October
Weasley—
Is it your week or mine to pick? I
can't keep track of anything
with all these bloody away games. Where the hell does the time go?
--Wood
12 November
Percy—
Ron and I have a bit of a special day coming up. Next week is our
two year anniversary, and we're throwing a party, it would mean a lot
to both of us if you were there. You don't have to stay long, but all
your siblings will be there (except Charlie, that wankstain, because
apparently Chinese Fireball eggs are more important than his little
brother).
It's a good chance, Percy. Trust me, they miss
you just as much. Please think about it. You don't even have to bring
anything.
--Oliver
PS—Unless you've got more of that '86 Medoc lying around. That stuff
put hair on my eyeballs!
19 November
Percy—
You know, it was all right if you didn't want
to come, you didn't have to make up some pathetic excuse. I lived with
you for seven years, Weasley, and you're allergic to nifflers, so don't
feed me that shit.
You damn Weasleys are all alike, do you know that?
And it's your week to pick.
--Oliver
22 December
Weasley—
Been ages, man, your owl die? I would've owled
sooner, but it's a zoo around here with the holidays coming up. Seems
like every five minutes one of your relatives is dragging us off to
some Christmas party or Hanukah pageant or Solstice orgy.
Well, not so much of that last one, unfortunately,
or maybe fortunately, since that's a side of your baby sister I'd just
as soon not see.
And I know you're going to spend Christmas alone in
that flat of yours. You're more than welcome to drop by Christmas
dinner over here if you get lonely. Plenty of food and eggnog to go
around, I promise.
--Wood
PS—I thought about holding your present hostage, but then you'd
probably stay away just to be perverse, so I sent it along. Hope you
like it, it's just like that one you had in fourth year. Only with a
few, ah, extra features.
6 January
Weasley—
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave
to me…
…some fucking signs of life. Where have you been?
It's your week.
--Wood
20 January
Weasley—
Saw the news report, huh? Yeah, watching it in
person was a lot worse, believe me, but the worst of it's past now, and
Ron's set to come home day after next if nothing else happens. I was a
bloody wreck, any longer and I would have been dragging your arse in
here to see your brother even if I had to Imperio you.
Ron'll be at home recovering for a week at least,
you should stop by. He'd want to know you're thinking about him. Plus
this way, he can't run away, right? Right?
Safe to say I'll be canceling this week. Sorry about
the shaky penmanship too.
--Wood
2 February
Weasley—
Six more weeks of winter, looks like. It's got so that I wonder
why I bother even drying out between matches.
And speaking of mammals seeing the sun for the first
time, Ron is up
and around finally. He's desperate to get back to coaching, but it's
his own fault. If he hadn't pulled that stunt in Glasgow, we wouldn't
have had to ban him from the pitch. Honestly, you call me deranged, but
even I know better than to get on a broom with a cast like that.
No one's happier than me, after two weeks of a
housebound Weasley, I was ready to break my own legs just to get the
peace of St. Mungo's. How did your mum survive you lot having Horklump
Pox?
It is so your week. You Weasleys owe me. You owe me
so much…I can't even think of what you owe me. But it starts
with Firewhiskey.
--Wood
19 February
Weasley—
You haven't
forgotten that your ickle baby brother's birthday is coming up fast,
have you? You know what would be the best present you could get him?
Coming to his party.
I won't even make you jump out of his cake. Come on, you can't hold out
forever. And that's not meant to be a challenge either, git.
Besides, seeing the look on his face when he opens
my present will be well worth your while, trust me.
--Wood
6 March
Weasley—
Ron's out of town for a few days on a scouting trip.
Come over for dinner? You can keep me company in the big empty flat.
Merlin, it really is like we're having an affair,
isn't it? You've got to do something about this.
--Wood
22 March
Weasley—
Must escape
flat. Boyfriend scrawling plays on every available surface in
preparation for playoff season. Am in imminent danger of becoming the
playbook.
Nothing a Super Fudge Explosion won't cure.
Fortescue's at 6?
--Wood
12 April
Weasley—
Do you realize that next week will be the one year anniversary of
our little intrigue? Twelve months is a nice round number to
finish it out with, don't you think? A nice clean ending, that's what
this needs.
How about you get to it, Weasley.
In celebration of the event, however, I've sent
you tickets to our next playoff match. We're pretty well out of the
running, what with Bolt's injury and Doyle's suspension, plus McHarris
still has turned up yet, so this might be our last official match
before tour season. Still, we'll put up a good fight in your honor, so
I'd better see you there.
And the offer for drinks afterwards still stand. If
you wait until Ron's drowned his playoff woes with a Butterbeer or
fifty, he might not even notice he's made up with you until it's too
late.
--Wood
25 April
Weasley—
Got to cancel. Looks like Ron might have found one
of your letters, and now he's pulled a demiguise.
Told you this couldn't go on. Damn every last one of
you fucking Weasleys.
--Wood
28 April
Percy--
I know you've been seeing Oliver
It's been a long time
I really miss
Dammit, Percy, just come over.
--Ron